Life Update: Chaos and the Coming Days

Hey Bookworms! I needed to write something and I didn’t know what to write in this fog of sadness and pain. This isn’t just going to be about books, but about my LDR, the weather, a few points about my cerebral palsy, COVID-19, but yes I will talk about books. Let’s get started!

Chaos and the Coming Days

LDR

So first off let me start off by saying today is hard. It was supposed to be my first day with my boyfriend. I work hospitality, so when at work I receive all the updates about what we’re canceling, borders that are closing, and travel bans. When we got the notification that cancellations were happening at least until the 14th of April (it is my weekend, so I haven’t seen any newer updates since Sunday).

I knew on Saturday, I would have to change my ticket. It hurt like hell to do because at this point I haven’t seen him in 4 months.  I was supposed to leave in 2 days at that point to spend, 6 nights, and 5 days together. The most time we have spent together in a while. Not to mention this is the first time in 2 years, we have spent a birthday a part, this is what hurts the worst.

While I have a new flight booked for May with a new flexible change policy, just in case. (I am so grateful for Westjet being so helpful and understanding). I am praying this all calms down by then. My family and friends are all saying at least you are both healthy and safe, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t crack our hearts open.

I am trying to remain patient and hopeful as this is what all LDR’s are built off of. I am sending my positive thoughts out to others separated by these closures. I am trying to find comfort and not jealousy of the couples that are currently together even when it’s hard, as this is what we have to look forward to.

The Weather, Cerebral Palsy, and COVID-19

This is probably one of the few times you’ll hear me talking about my CP because although it a part of me, I try to not let it define me. I also don’t want people to assume my experience with CP is the same as another person with  CP.  Like most disabilities and disorders it is on a spectrum and has different types (which is what I hope anybody who writes about this disability includes this notes because it can set false expectations and be harmful to those who are uneducated).

While COVID-19 is affecting a lot of people with different immune deficiencies, disabilities, disorders, the young, and people over 50.  Some people with Cerebral Palsy do have weakened immune systems, thankfully, I have not been one of those people. I have only been sick at least once a year in my life if that (not including allergies), and some of those were self inflicted by being a stubborn child by and not eating when I was supposed to, often times for a full day, or weather changing rapidly.

With this extended winter we’ve been facing (the groundhog lied…), my body has been paying the price. I have been aching and swelling for weeks as the weather is on the roller coaster it is and possibly having another disability that may tie into this pain (which I can’t get checked until Fall again). I am more afraid of how my body pain is affecting me more this year than it has before than I am of a virus, because I know my body can fight it. I know I am practicing the right things, and I am trying to remain calm, because stress and anxiety can weaken the immune system.

Work

I don’t tend to talk much about work on here. Thankfully I still have work, and I am trying to stay calm and positive again. Putting money in savings and trying to be diligent. I am sending all good thoughts for those of you who can’t go to work and I am hoping my work stays consistent.

Days I am Home

On my days I have off which is a 3 day weekend this weekend because I didn’t feel it was fair to go into work on my birthday this year due to everything that went on last week. I am spending my 28th on March 18th at home, with my family, cake, books, and a movie binge. I know a lot of us are worried with the actual libraries shut down, but there is still Overdrive and Libby if you have WiFi or data access to download when you don’t have access to either.

We have each other, this blogging community, our words to reach each other even when these borders are shut down.

Want to work out, look up exercises to do at home, when I am not in pain I try to move as much as possible.

Board games, so you can keep your mind going, video games, movies and books that will make you think.

Sing, get lost in music, dance, write a poem, if your mind starts to wander in the wrong way redirect it or at least distract it.

Create don’t let your mind focus on the panic as that’s when we become our worst selves. Most importantly be kind, try not to panic buy, to help others who need the resources. This is something I stick buy as I can’t always get out due to my current state.

We are all stronger that the remenants that 2019 is holding over us. I refuse to blame 2020 for this as this started last year hence the name. 2020 is trying to teach us to be strong, calm, patient, and kind. Don’t let 2019’s left overs turn is into scared sheep.

I am going to try and practice all these suggestions, and I hope you all do too. I hope this rant stayed somewhat coherent. Happy Reading Bookworms, stay calm healthy, and safe!

 

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Book Talk: Reading Books We Hate

Hey bookworms! I have finished a few books this week, and not all of them were ones I loved, and part of me wanted to DNF them. So, why didn’t I? Good question, in our reading community, we all often … Continue reading

Movie Monday: A Beautiful Day in the Neigborhood

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Hey Bookworms! I am back again, and I am trying to keep this momentum going through the end of the year, so lets hope I can keep it going! This movie review/talk/advice/gush, will be on a happier note than my last one. This is actually a movie, I think everyone should go see for the themes at the very least, if not for a great story. Anywho let’s get started before I start talking about everything in the intro… Hope you all enjoy!

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Movie Title: A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Release Date: 22 November 19

Film Company: Tristar Pictures

Rated: PG

Genre: Biopic, Drama

Director: Marielle Heller

Starring: Tom Hanks, Matthew Rys, and Susan Kelechi Watson

Format Watched in: In Theaters

Runtime:

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Quick Recommendation

Before I start talking about the themes and telling you why you should see this movie, I have one thing to suggest. If you are interest in seeing this movie, I highly recommend seeing the documentary Won’t You be My Neighbor.

This will give you a little more background on Rogers and the show as well if you haven’t seen the show in a while. It is also a great prelude to the themes in this movies and takes Roger’s off the pedstal, people tended to put him on. Don’t get me wrong, he was an amazingly good and caring person, but what emphasizes the good he did was that he is human. It makes you feel more the feels and it gets you in the right state of mind before watching the movie which will give you all the more feels.

What Makes it Worth Watching

1.The cast is amazing and makes every feeling very poignant and every emotion strong. This was a movie that gave you empathy as they fell into the skin of the people before them.

2. The 90’s nostalgia from the beginning scenes, seeing the neighborhood, the computer to the clothes and cars, to skits they did in the show. My memory was kicked in and I remember sitting on the couch watching the show.

3. Relatable characters, even though this movie was set in the 90s. I found myself relating to the main couple in the story Lloyd and Andrea Vogel from both sides. I can see how Lloyd had a cynical side, quick to doubt goodness in people, and how with family life he grew up it was quick to hide his emotions.

Andrea being the balance to her husband to get him to see the good. To try and feel the what he’s been holding back. To face the past and to try and bring the family back together. Her frustration with it all as well and just wanting to connect and get through.

4. The themes: Two of them that stuck out to me most is Be Kind, whether you’re taking this from a christian perspective or just a human perspective. No matter what age we are or time we’re in, kindness is something we all need. I think the world would have been a little brighter with this.

The second thing as cliche as it sounds is embrace your emotions. This was one thing my mom real gained and realized from watching it. That she should have and would let us process our emotions more. That it’s okay to feel what we feel, and as adults, we tend to forget this.

Ending Thoughts

I really feel this is a movie for all no matter what your beliefs are in life. If you’re feeling low or lost this will bring back positive reminders and maybe even change in life. I plan on purchasing this movie and the biography whenever I need a reminder. I will leave both trailers below for you.

I hope you all liked this one, I know it was shorter, but I really just wanted to share something good with you all. Have you seen this movie? Did you see the themes I did. Did I miss any that hit you? Let me know comments down below. I hope you have an amazing week As always, Happy Reading and Watching!


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Let’s Just Chat: Just a chance to get my words going

Hey Bookworms! I dunno what this post is going to be about or even if it will go up. I just miss you all and wanted to talk. I know this would be better to go on social media with this but I dunno I wanted to make my blog a little more personal. I have a few things on my mind. I really want this year to be a year of growth. A year to impact others. Whether it’s in my personal life or on here. The internet the void where people go to feel like there a part of something different. This is where you can see that you are not alone.

 

I honestly have no idea where this is going, but as much as 2017 was an adventure it did have some rough parts. Family stuff, feeling a lack of growth in my job, taking a risk by trying my relationship again. The things I learned from my roughest years of 2015-to the beginning of 2017 is I can’t live my life wondering what if? My biggest struggle with these realization is not knowing where or even how to begin to start my research.

 

I think that has always been my struggle. RESEARCH. It is hard to implement for me in writing and to keep focused on it. I want to prove to the world that my disability isn’t a huge part of me only a faction. This is why I’ve got it in my head that I need a job where I can leave my mark. I want it to be in my writing but we all need a day job too right?

I want to read and find myself lost in words again. I also want to have words spill out of me again. As much as I want to finish my “Pack’s” story maybe it’s time to pull out someone else’s voice until I can hear there’s again. This isn’t writing block for me anymore, it’s deafening silence and it unsettles me.

I think my mind, creative soul, and heart needs something new to grow. I want to figure out a way to get to Vancouver, Canada. I am gonna bring a notebook for my Birthday Trip in March. I am going to see what the world whispers to me.

I don’t want to feel lost again, I am determined to start finding my path again. Adventure coaxing words and ideas out of me again. I feel everyday I feel closer to finding myself again and becoming the person I need to be.

Is anyone trying to find themselves again this year, or trying to find a way to plan your newest route? Anyone moved to a new country? Anyone feel like you need to break free of the mold people place on you? Let me know in the comments down below as much as I am here to talk, I am also here to listen. Happy Reading!

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Resolutions for 2018: For Blogging, Reading, Writing, and Life!

Hey bookworms! I know this may be a little early to write this as at this moment it’s only the 10th of December, but that’s what scheduling posts are for right? And if my ideas change I can edit before this goes live. Once it goes live, I have to commit, right? Well at least try my best to. I really want to get back into the community and get the hand of scheduling posts again, so this will be good practice! Anywho before this intro gets too off track, or reveals the resolutions before I get a chance to jot them in some semblance of order, lets get started!

Blogging

As you guys can tell, 2017 was a little hectic and I’ve been more than a little absent, and too be honest I miss the community and support I’ve had from you in my life’s many ups and downs, both on here and through twitter. I want to come back to the community who kept me going for so long. So here are my goals to bring me back to you!

 

1. Post at least 2-3 times a month!

I know at this moment it seems impossible, and I’d be okay and not guilt myself if I’d only post once.

2. Write 4 Book Reviews

I know I’ve said I’d write more reviews before, but I really want to not only to become more brave, but to turn my analytical, creative, and critical thinking (basically the English Major) part (s) of my brain back on. The monotony of work is starting to make me feel dull.

3. Scheduling is key! 

I want to to utilize the scheduling tool on here to post more, to take some of the stress and confusion of what to post. I think it will also force me to write my ideas down and not give up on them so easily.

4. Comment on More Blogs

Being apart of the community again doesn’t mean just sharing my voice it also means hearing so many of your great voices and thoughts.

5. Share More of My Media Thoughts

This means more movie and show posts, maybe a game post here and there. I really want grow to be more diverse with my blog.

6. Do Some Kind of Wrap-Ups

I feel like wrap-ups are some of the most productive posts. It also allows you to take a look back on progress you made and what’s touched you most, because even stuff that doesn’t end up being your favorite still leaves a mark

Reading Goals

1. Read 90 Books

I hit my goal of 80 and that’s a lot lower when I was in school. I’m trying to tell myself that is a decent amount and to be proud of myself. I feel 90 would be even better. I’ve already read more than I thought I could.

2. Read More Mysteries

I am slowly breaking out of my scaredy cat shell and reading more stuff I normally wouldn’t. I would love to see how far I could push myself before the fear kicks back in. Plus I have a curious mind and most of the time I catch the plot twist before it’s revealed. I want to see if a mystery can get me before I get it.

3. Read More Biographies/Memoirs

This is another genre I want to dip my toes in a little more. It’s nice to hear peoples vioces as they tell the story of their lives

4. Do a Reading Challenge or at least attempt one

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Honestly a few of these are way too out of my comfort zone to want to attempt but it will be fun to do some of these

5. Participate in a Readathon

This is another part of rejoining the community through social media. To get to know all you guys again.  I would love to do RYBSAT or Dewey’s but we’ll see what happens.

6. Read 10 Paper Copies and 10 E-Books

I don’t know if you’re aware but my main source of reading this year has been audiobooks and I’ve missed other sources and writing notes to myself, tabbing good parts, etc.

7. Read a New Release

If I was more confident I’d put 3 but I’m so bad at keeping track of release dates, so if I get to the one I have my eye on I’ll be proud of myself.

8. Read a Book by an Author I’ve Never Read Before

Whether it’s a new author or just someone I’ve had my eye in. I want to get to know someone new.

9. Read a Classic

I feel like a bad english Major student for not reading more of these. I really want to pick up Jane Eyre, or more Dickens. We’ll see if this happens =P

10. Finish a Series

What series I have no clue, but I’d like to finish one. See characters grow from the beginning to end.

11. Knock 10 Books off my TBR

Honestly my TBR is getting a little intense, but I know myself and I know I’m not going to stop buying anytime soon. I know I don’t buy as frequently as I once did, but if I could knock some books off the ones I own when I treat myself I won’t be as bad. That and I still have a pile of free stuff from RT 16 that are calling my name

Writing

1. Write Weekly

Whether it’s a poem, quote, or a scene I want to set up a time at least once a week for me to get back into my calling

2. Use My Writing Prompt books

I bought 2 this year and I haven’t touched them. I don’t know if I want to write in them or use a separate notebook but I don’t want to let them go to waste!

4. Read a Book on Writing

I want my creativity to grow again and I think I need some help. I am okay with that as I can’t take classes at the moment

5. Watch TedxTalks on Writing

This will give me the feel of a class and even allow me to take notes. Plus it’d keep my attention and will allow me to pick multiple brains a day.

 

Life

1.  Eat out only once a week

I know this will be my hardest goal, but I do want to do it. I want to save more money and this is a small way to do it

2. Put Money in my Savings at Least once a month

I want to start rebuilding my nest egg again which will not only allow me to move, but allow me to travel as well.

3. Find  and Get a New Job

Honestly I need more of a challenge in life and a job where I feel I can grow. As much as I lobe my coworkers I feel it’s time to leave my first job and leave my mark on a new one

4. Travel to 3 Places

I was able to acheive this goal this year and it was one of the few things that helped keep me sane

5. Exercise 3 times a week

To be honest, I fell off this wagon a few times this year, but I want to keep it this year

6. Look into what it will take to move to Vancouver,Canada

I fell back in love this year and yes it’s scary, but it wasn’t just with a great guy, it was with a great city. I fell in love with a city. I felt my creativity want to sing again. Yes, LDR’s are hard. Second chances are risky, and even riskier is moving out of state, but I feel I can’t live my life wondering. So I am going to take the steps to get me closer to this plunge.

7. Audit a Class 

Hopefully a new job will give me more time and energy to pursue this and I think I want to dive back into getting an AA in French, Business, or Hospitality. All 3 could help me towards a day job I could love. I miss school, and I honestly would adore having multiple degrees.

8. Look into Therapy

Although my depression hasn’t hit it can and that scares me. I do miss having a neutral party to speak to. I miss not feeling judged.

9. Not Feel Guilty about Treating Myself

I work hard and deal with a lot of stress and don’t want to feel bad for buying anything from a plane ticket to a new game or outfit. I’m not talking about a shopping spree just a small item every month or so.

10. Keep Positive

There is a lot going on in my family life and although it seems like the hardest thing to do. I don’t want to let it break me. I want to stay positive and bring it to the others in my life.

 

Well bookworms these are all the resolutions I have. They may be a lot, but it’s always good to aim high and feel proud of whatever I do accomplish. Do you have any resolutions? Do you think I’m crazy for having this many? Do you have any tips on how to accomplish them. Did you do a post on your resolutions or goals? Let me know in the comments below with links and help me start my goals off right.  And as always happy reading and hope you all are having a good week!

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Let’s Chat: Life Update and Currently Reading

Hey bookworms! I know I say this every time, but I am trying to get better at being a constant or at least regular at this.

 

I hope your morning/day/ evening is going well depending where ever you are. It is currently Monday morning here AKA my Sunday. I was going to wait till later to write with my boyfriend to wake up to have a writing date (just sitting with each other on Skype or Facebook messenger for an hour and writing whatever we want), but I woke up to hear about the Shooting in Las Vegas (where I live but a 20ish mins away) on the Strip it left me a little shaken, so positive thoughts to everyone in my city. I don’t want this blog to end up too sad, but if you guys can all send positive thoughts to the ones affected that’d be great.

Anywho life has been on a good patch lately, me and my boyfriend have found our way back to each other, I’ve been to Vancouver twice this year, recently for his Birthday in September and I swear it’s not  just him but every time I hit the tarmac and am officially in Canada it makes me feel at home. I love Vancouver and how I look at nearly everything and to me it feels like a story waiting to be written. Especially since it’s the kind of place where if you wanted to get away for a day or two, hop on the ferry and your there in 2 hours. Honestly it made me want to pick up historical fiction being in Victoria getting lost in the awe when we went to Craigdurroch Castle. The history and seeing the way that this building change to fit the every need that was needed from it. How can you not want to explore and adventure out in the world? I want to live in Vancouver so bad I can practically taste it. So that’s my goal in the next 2 years of my life, but then part of me starts to wonder if 25 is starting to late in life to do this? I dunno I hope not, so what I’m asking you all in the way of advice. Have any of you moved to Canada from the states or even from a different country than where you’re originally from? How did you go about doing it? I know it’s possibly gonna be a lot of paperwork and a lot of work it’s not something I’m scared of.

Also another question that I am concerned about is the use of Transit because being in my chair for 3 days was not easy on my back and hips. Here I use Paratransit a system for those with disabilities where the bus picks you up and drops you off where you need to be. It is a ride share system, so rides can tend to get on the lengthy at times, but it is my independence even if it can have it’s drawbacks, so for my Canadian readers (which hopefully I have) do you guys have a similar system that I can look into?

An update on my writing and reading life as well. I need to stop making excuses and sit down and just do it. Writing and reading used to be my escape from stress, life, it was protection from myself or whatever was currently getting at me. I’ve decided to start carrying a notebook with me and setting down an hour to write a week. No matter what it is blogging, poetry, quotes, or even my current WIP. It makes me sad I haven’t touched it in almost a year. I want my writing to leave a mark, let others know they don’t have to face it alone, or when they have to there is always a safer place to be where you can conquer other dangers along side others. Writing is coping it is letting my dark know that I am stronger than it is, or if it feels stronger I can give it an outlet. I hope I can stick to this new commitment. I feel it will help push me forward again see more of what I can do with the world.

Now that the life stuff is out of the way if you are still with me. Here is what has been keeping my literary world alive lately:

Currently Reading

1.  American Gods by Neil Gaiman

American Gods

I am really loving this book and hoping I can finish it before it’s due back on Overdrive. Neil Gaiman is one of my favorite authors for a reason his way of writing and his use of details, it just sucks you in.

2.  A Dog’s Journey by W.B. Cameron

A Dog's Journey

I bought this for the ferry ride for the trip to Victoria and it was perfect to keep our attention for 2 hours. It had me giggling and smiling at antics and it is just a light book that is something you can go to for ease.

3. Moon Chosen by PC Cast

Moon Chosen

Yes I am still reading this chunky thing and lets hope I can get it done before the end of the year. It is good but I’ve been quite the slow reader lately and although it makes me sad a bit, but I am try not to be hard on myself about it.

Well bookworms that’s it for now and I have finished this post now with way too many distractions as it is almost 2:30 PM. I am gonna go get dressed and go grocery shopping and face the fact that tomorrow is another work day. I hope it is an easy, quick, and as stress free for all of us as possible. I will try and get my summer wrapup done soon, so you can see what I’ve been doing besides work and sleep. I am still kinda alive.

If you want to see what few pictures I was able to get in Canada follow my Instagram and see some of my adventure. I promise when I get my new phone hopefully next weekend, I’ll be a better picture and video taker on my next adventure. Let me know if you enjoyed this post, have any advice, and of course what you’re currently reading in the comments! I miss you all like crazy. Let me know if you’re still here. Have a good week and as always, Happy Reading!

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Book Talk: Is the way I’m reading lately another form of a reading slump?

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Hey bookworms! Hope you’re start of your week is getting off to a great start for me Monday is my Sunday, so I am hoping today goes by slow although I know it probably won’t. But anywho this post is to talk about books.

I had this thought last weekend as I was browsing through my overdrive app removing books I’ve read and looking to add new ones. For those of you who don’t know, since I work so much and have really long commutes sometimes an hour in the mornings to 2 hours on the way back some days audio books are my main source of reading.

I get my books from the library and so I am kind of at the mercy at what is available. Don’t get me wrong I am still reading YA, but I am starting to to dig into adult fiction a little more, but lately there seems to be no reason to what I am picking.

I  am not hungry or feel the urge to grab things lately like I used to. I  miss being excited to read or not being able to get my mind off of a book, or thinking about the characters after I put it down unless it’s a slow day at work (and we’re not allowed electronics on the floor).

I don’t know does this sound like a slump to you? I think about bringing paper books, but not having enough room in my bag prevents this and I am one of the horrible bookworms that lets her book get a bit banged up in her bag. (Please don’t kick me out of the book work community >.<)

Anyway my fellow bookworms I need your help! What do you do when your feeling stuck or your reading appetite isn’t what it used to be? I feel like maybe when I am on Vacation in September I will feel relaxed enough to read. I don’t know how do you break away from work and make you focus on things you love?  Let me know in the comments down below and Happy Reading!

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Book Talk: One of the Most Major Bookworm Problems You can Have!

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Hey Bookworms! See I am getting better at this, or I am trying to. Also it also helps when bookworm problems hit, so it gives me inspiration to write and see if anybody else has had these problems, or was unaware that this was a thing. So lets gets started and hopefully I can get this posted and it sounds okay.

Book Talk: My Major Bookworm Problem of Last Week… 

It’s okay guys! The problem is fixed now as of about an hour ago, but I didn’t even know that it could happen.  As someone who has depended on this resource since the moment that she found this resource close enough to her. It kind of let me lost a week without it… Okay no more suspense or my attempt of leaving you in suspense. (Again I am rusty and try to find my voice in writing again.)

I was a week without my library card!! Dun dun dun! Why, you ask? Did I lose it? Nope… It expired?! When did this become a thing??!?! At first I thought it was an error with the app as I closed it and opened it again. It said the same thing! So of course I googled it, because I couldn’t call the library at 3:30 in the morning when I am getting ready for work. It is a thing and you have to physically go to the library and give them your ID to prove you still live at your same address.

I wanted to cry at the thought of not being able to renew my audiobooks. It is the one thing that helps wakes me up in the morning, distracts me on my long bus rides, and pretty much the only thing that gives me time to read as well as saves me money. Well my library card and the fact that I’ve been too lay to enter my new debit card details in my nook payment section XD Well it is now fixed, and I have new things to read! So now I am happy!

My question to you bookworms is did you know this is a thing? What do you think qualifies as a major bookworm problem? As a bookworm let me know what you couldn’t live a week without. Let me know in the comments below. I hope you have an awesome week and Happy Reading!

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Book Talk: Help a Girl Out! Which Books Should Accompany on My Next Adventure?

Hey bookworms! Hope your week is off to a good start! I really need your help. I am flying to Vancouver on Saturday and I really need your help… I am trying to send positivity for this trip because besides … Continue reading

Book Talk: I’m Slumping Again and Life Updates

Hey bookworms! It’s me Chantal the little short redheaded book blogger that used to blog a lot more.. Hope I’m not fading from your memory jk… Kinda… It’s time for a random book talk even though I know we’ve talked … Continue reading