Life Update: Chaos and the Coming Days

Hey Bookworms! I needed to write something and I didn’t know what to write in this fog of sadness and pain. This isn’t just going to be about books, but about my LDR, the weather, a few points about my cerebral palsy, COVID-19, but yes I will talk about books. Let’s get started!

Chaos and the Coming Days

LDR

So first off let me start off by saying today is hard. It was supposed to be my first day with my boyfriend. I work hospitality, so when at work I receive all the updates about what we’re canceling, borders that are closing, and travel bans. When we got the notification that cancellations were happening at least until the 14th of April (it is my weekend, so I haven’t seen any newer updates since Sunday).

I knew on Saturday, I would have to change my ticket. It hurt like hell to do because at this point I haven’t seen him in 4 months.  I was supposed to leave in 2 days at that point to spend, 6 nights, and 5 days together. The most time we have spent together in a while. Not to mention this is the first time in 2 years, we have spent a birthday a part, this is what hurts the worst.

While I have a new flight booked for May with a new flexible change policy, just in case. (I am so grateful for Westjet being so helpful and understanding). I am praying this all calms down by then. My family and friends are all saying at least you are both healthy and safe, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t crack our hearts open.

I am trying to remain patient and hopeful as this is what all LDR’s are built off of. I am sending my positive thoughts out to others separated by these closures. I am trying to find comfort and not jealousy of the couples that are currently together even when it’s hard, as this is what we have to look forward to.

The Weather, Cerebral Palsy, and COVID-19

This is probably one of the few times you’ll hear me talking about my CP because although it a part of me, I try to not let it define me. I also don’t want people to assume my experience with CP is the same as another person with  CP.  Like most disabilities and disorders it is on a spectrum and has different types (which is what I hope anybody who writes about this disability includes this notes because it can set false expectations and be harmful to those who are uneducated).

While COVID-19 is affecting a lot of people with different immune deficiencies, disabilities, disorders, the young, and people over 50.  Some people with Cerebral Palsy do have weakened immune systems, thankfully, I have not been one of those people. I have only been sick at least once a year in my life if that (not including allergies), and some of those were self inflicted by being a stubborn child by and not eating when I was supposed to, often times for a full day, or weather changing rapidly.

With this extended winter we’ve been facing (the groundhog lied…), my body has been paying the price. I have been aching and swelling for weeks as the weather is on the roller coaster it is and possibly having another disability that may tie into this pain (which I can’t get checked until Fall again). I am more afraid of how my body pain is affecting me more this year than it has before than I am of a virus, because I know my body can fight it. I know I am practicing the right things, and I am trying to remain calm, because stress and anxiety can weaken the immune system.

Work

I don’t tend to talk much about work on here. Thankfully I still have work, and I am trying to stay calm and positive again. Putting money in savings and trying to be diligent. I am sending all good thoughts for those of you who can’t go to work and I am hoping my work stays consistent.

Days I am Home

On my days I have off which is a 3 day weekend this weekend because I didn’t feel it was fair to go into work on my birthday this year due to everything that went on last week. I am spending my 28th on March 18th at home, with my family, cake, books, and a movie binge. I know a lot of us are worried with the actual libraries shut down, but there is still Overdrive and Libby if you have WiFi or data access to download when you don’t have access to either.

We have each other, this blogging community, our words to reach each other even when these borders are shut down.

Want to work out, look up exercises to do at home, when I am not in pain I try to move as much as possible.

Board games, so you can keep your mind going, video games, movies and books that will make you think.

Sing, get lost in music, dance, write a poem, if your mind starts to wander in the wrong way redirect it or at least distract it.

Create don’t let your mind focus on the panic as that’s when we become our worst selves. Most importantly be kind, try not to panic buy, to help others who need the resources. This is something I stick buy as I can’t always get out due to my current state.

We are all stronger that the remenants that 2019 is holding over us. I refuse to blame 2020 for this as this started last year hence the name. 2020 is trying to teach us to be strong, calm, patient, and kind. Don’t let 2019’s left overs turn is into scared sheep.

I am going to try and practice all these suggestions, and I hope you all do too. I hope this rant stayed somewhat coherent. Happy Reading Bookworms, stay calm healthy, and safe!

 

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Book Talk: Reading Books We Hate

Hey bookworms! I have finished a few books this week, and not all of them were ones I loved, and part of me wanted to DNF them. So, why didn’t I? Good question, in our reading community, we all often … Continue reading

Movie Monday: A Beautiful Day in the Neigborhood

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Hey Bookworms! I am back again, and I am trying to keep this momentum going through the end of the year, so lets hope I can keep it going! This movie review/talk/advice/gush, will be on a happier note than my last one. This is actually a movie, I think everyone should go see for the themes at the very least, if not for a great story. Anywho let’s get started before I start talking about everything in the intro… Hope you all enjoy!

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Movie Title: A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Release Date: 22 November 19

Film Company: Tristar Pictures

Rated: PG

Genre: Biopic, Drama

Director: Marielle Heller

Starring: Tom Hanks, Matthew Rys, and Susan Kelechi Watson

Format Watched in: In Theaters

Runtime:

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Quick Recommendation

Before I start talking about the themes and telling you why you should see this movie, I have one thing to suggest. If you are interest in seeing this movie, I highly recommend seeing the documentary Won’t You be My Neighbor.

This will give you a little more background on Rogers and the show as well if you haven’t seen the show in a while. It is also a great prelude to the themes in this movies and takes Roger’s off the pedstal, people tended to put him on. Don’t get me wrong, he was an amazingly good and caring person, but what emphasizes the good he did was that he is human. It makes you feel more the feels and it gets you in the right state of mind before watching the movie which will give you all the more feels.

What Makes it Worth Watching

1.The cast is amazing and makes every feeling very poignant and every emotion strong. This was a movie that gave you empathy as they fell into the skin of the people before them.

2. The 90’s nostalgia from the beginning scenes, seeing the neighborhood, the computer to the clothes and cars, to skits they did in the show. My memory was kicked in and I remember sitting on the couch watching the show.

3. Relatable characters, even though this movie was set in the 90s. I found myself relating to the main couple in the story Lloyd and Andrea Vogel from both sides. I can see how Lloyd had a cynical side, quick to doubt goodness in people, and how with family life he grew up it was quick to hide his emotions.

Andrea being the balance to her husband to get him to see the good. To try and feel the what he’s been holding back. To face the past and to try and bring the family back together. Her frustration with it all as well and just wanting to connect and get through.

4. The themes: Two of them that stuck out to me most is Be Kind, whether you’re taking this from a christian perspective or just a human perspective. No matter what age we are or time we’re in, kindness is something we all need. I think the world would have been a little brighter with this.

The second thing as cliche as it sounds is embrace your emotions. This was one thing my mom real gained and realized from watching it. That she should have and would let us process our emotions more. That it’s okay to feel what we feel, and as adults, we tend to forget this.

Ending Thoughts

I really feel this is a movie for all no matter what your beliefs are in life. If you’re feeling low or lost this will bring back positive reminders and maybe even change in life. I plan on purchasing this movie and the biography whenever I need a reminder. I will leave both trailers below for you.

I hope you all liked this one, I know it was shorter, but I really just wanted to share something good with you all. Have you seen this movie? Did you see the themes I did. Did I miss any that hit you? Let me know comments down below. I hope you have an amazing week As always, Happy Reading and Watching!


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Book Talk: Is Anne of Green Gables Bi?

Hey bookworms! I am back! I won’t make the same excuses, and the only thing I will say is, I am trying to get my own laptop soon. Along with a laptop my brain and heart is missing school, and … Continue reading

Book Talk: Let’s Talk Subscription Boxes

Hey Bookworms! I hope you’re all having a wonderful start of your week, for me it’s my Sunday (Monday is the last day of my weekend) and I ‘ve had a pretty relaxing day, besides a phone interview, that turned … Continue reading

What kept My Mind Off the Cold: January, February, & March Rap Wrap-Up

Hey bookworms! I know I haven’t posted in a bit, but it’s been a bit busy lately. I  know I wanted to try and do month, but winter was busy for me with my Birthday trip and all the overtime it took to save. But, anywho, you’re here for the books not to hear me whine, so let’s get started!

 

January Reads

 1. The Rose Society by Marie Lu

The Rose Society

So for those of you who have seen my signature, will know I had to pick up this sequel due to the cover. I mean can you blame me. I wish I could say I felt the same for the story that I did the cover. Although I love the idea of this series because it sings to my X-Men loving heart. It is like a retelling of it in a way at least to my mind. Adelina reminds me of a friend that really hurt me last year, and I can’t help but want this character to be redeemed. Magiano was the one that kept me reading. I gave the book a 2.8 out of 5 stars.

 

2.  Dumplin’ By Julie Murphy

Dumpling

I gave this book a 3 out of 5 stars. I related to the mother-daughter relationship. In the way the mother assumes she is helpin g the daughter with her opinions that maybe ended a bit blunt and sometimes hurtful without meaning to. The female friendships made me so happy because I feel so many stories are lacking friendships lately. Friendships are starting to become minor points in stories and I don’t want to think they are becoming minor points life as well.

3. Nothing by Annie Barrow

Nothing

I gave this a 2.8 stars although it was a cute coming of age of age it really irked me the names these girls called each other. It wasn’t okay.

4. Between the Lines by Jodi Picoult and Samantha Van Leer

Between the Lines.jpg

I gave this one 3.3 stars. I loved the idea of the characters having personalities outside of the ones that were written for them in their story. The romance felt a bit lacking for me, but the story stuff rang true to me. Especially the part where the author said she heard the character’s voices in her head. As a writer myself that is my favorite sound and I miss that the most.

6. Saint Anything by Sarah Dessen

Saint Anything

4 stars! This book reminded me of everything about Dessen’s writing that made me feel less alone when I was younger. It reminded me that I wasn’t alone with the problems I faced. That other people faced them too. This book was like comfort food in her writing style if that makes sense.

6.  Before the Devil Breaks You by Libba Bray

Before the Devil Breaks You

This book got 4 stars from me only because of that cliff hanger! I was ready for this series to be over, but I do how much that I greatly care for these characters so I’m not too angry about getting to see more of their stories.

7. Birthmarked by  Caragh M. O’Brien

Birthmarked

I gave this book  3 out of 5 stars. For a dystopian book I still don’t know what to think of it but it had some really good action parts that kept my attention.

February

1. Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

Fangirl

3 stars I like the writing process and Cath’s professor’s advice, but I feel this would’ve made more of an impact on me if I read this 4-5 years ago. It did make me miss writing fanfiction and just writing in general. Maybe one day I will feel the pull again.

2. Cleopatra’s Moon by  Vicky Alvear Shecter

Cleopatra's Moon

I gave this book 3 out of 5 stars there was a bit of lag in some parts, but this book reminded me why historical fiction and royalty pulled me in when I was younger. I am hoping this means it has reignited my craving.

3. Made You Up by Francesca Zappia

Made You Up

This book was a 4 out of 5 stars for me it was really good to hear about mental health especially a disorder you don’t hear much about. This story really put you in the main character’s head and shoes. It made you experience her feelings and struggles in such a vivid way.

4. Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire

Down Among the Sticks and Bones

This shows how horrible of a bookworm I am. I loved the first book and didn’t even know that the next two books were out. I loved learning about the twins and the LGBTQ elements in these books and the backstory and magical realism mixed with the fantasy is my favorite thing ever. It was an amazingly good short devour and I gave this a 4 out of 5 stars and now I need to own these books!

5. Beneath the Sugar Sky by Seanan McGuire

Beneath the Sugar Sky

After finishing the last book and knowing the third was already out. I had to buy the third audio book for myself and it did not disappoint. The world building is AMAZING! 5 out of 5 stars!

6. Marked by PC and Kristin Cast

Marked

4 out of 5 stars because sometimes a reread is all the comfort and happiness you need in the world.

7. One Dark Throne by Kendare Blake

One Dark Throne

I gave it a 4 out of 5 stars. It would have been 5 out of 5 but there were some parts that lost my attention due to lag, but it has all the things to keep me picking up a book. I can’t wait to see what happens at the end.

8. Uglies by Scott Westerfield

Uglies

I have this a 3 out of 5 stars. I think I would’ve enjoyed this more in my teens when I was into dystopian but I only read it on a rare occasions now. It was an interesting twist on conformity though.

9. Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella

Finding Audrey

I know I’ve been reading a lot of contemporary, but it’s not my favorite genre truly. I will admit it is easy to read though. For not loving Contemporary I found I love Sophie Kinsella. Her humor and her books always make me laugh. 3 out of 5 stars.

10. City of the Lost by Kelley Armstrong

City of the Lost

I started this book last December but didn’t get to finish it before my turn was up at the library. Let me tell you these plot twists definitely made it worth the wait! 5 out of 5 stars!

March

My favorite month of the whole year! My birthday month! These are the books that helped me get to and celebrate 26!

1. Out of the Easy by Ruta Sepetys 

Out of the Easy

When I say I don’t like contemporary that of course excludes Historical Fiction. I know I am so odd, but historical fiction has always been one of my deepest loves for as long as I can remember. This book was such a great reminder of that. I gave this a 4 out of 5 stars.

2. Unbecoming by Jenny Downham

Unbecoming

This was one of my random picks for the month and I pretty much went in blind because to be honest I think I skimmed the summary. This is a great example of the when going in blind works out great. The story telling and the three perspectives were great for world building and was enough to have flash backs. It was perfect to fill all my fictional cravings when I picked it up. 4 out of 5 stars.

3. NTR – Netsuzou Trap Vol. 1 by Naoko Kodama, Catherine Ross (Translator), Shannon Fay (Adaptation), CK Russell (Lettering)

NTR - Netsuzou Trap Vol 1

This yuri was a little disappointing because it felt Hotaru was too forceful on Yuma. If she was just honest I feel this was honest, maybe even a bit more seductive this would’ve been so much better. I gave this one a 2 out of 5 stars. I might try and see if it’s available at the library instead of picking up and buying the next copy.

4. Citrus Vol 7 by Saburo Uta

Citrus

Although Mei’s and Yuzu’s love did have a forcefulness in the beginning you could tell the underlying feelings were there. I fell behind on this series, but then I remembered it was becoming an anime! So I needed to devour what was out to hype myself up and I was disappointed by neither the adaption or this volume. I gave this one a 4 out of 5 stars.

5. Midnight Jewel by Richelle Mead

Midnight Jewel

Although there was some parts of this book I didn’t like like pretty much retelling the first book… The romance in this one though was hot, and I like the couples with conflict. That argue that does not fall easy are my favorites. They are the more realistic to me and draw me in too easily. 4 out of 5 stars for just the romance alone! Don’t judge me she writes good friction and tension!

6. Bloom into You, Vol. 1 by Nakatani Nio

Bloom into You 1

I loved the idea of this manga that love can grow. It doesn’t have to be hot it can be slow and patient. It was so sweet I gave it a 4 out of 5 stars.

7. Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac by Gabrielle Zevin

Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac

This was a 2.8 stars for me because how fickle Naomi became kinda irked me and ruined the good parts for me.

8. Far from the Tree by Robin Benway

Far from the Tree.jpg

The tagline got me guys! “For fans of This is Us” which is my mom and my favorite show and it was not a disappointment. The bond between the siblings was so sweet and true. It also hit on adoption which I feel isn’t a topic covered by many books. 4 out of 5 stars.

Well guys that what I read this winter! I am so sorry this took forever to post! I am trying to get better I promise. Have you read any of these? Feel free to let me know in the comments below because I really do miss you all. Have a wonderful week and most importantly Happy Reading!

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Let’s Just Chat: Just a chance to get my words going

Hey Bookworms! I dunno what this post is going to be about or even if it will go up. I just miss you all and wanted to talk. I know this would be better to go on social media with this but I dunno I wanted to make my blog a little more personal. I have a few things on my mind. I really want this year to be a year of growth. A year to impact others. Whether it’s in my personal life or on here. The internet the void where people go to feel like there a part of something different. This is where you can see that you are not alone.

 

I honestly have no idea where this is going, but as much as 2017 was an adventure it did have some rough parts. Family stuff, feeling a lack of growth in my job, taking a risk by trying my relationship again. The things I learned from my roughest years of 2015-to the beginning of 2017 is I can’t live my life wondering what if? My biggest struggle with these realization is not knowing where or even how to begin to start my research.

 

I think that has always been my struggle. RESEARCH. It is hard to implement for me in writing and to keep focused on it. I want to prove to the world that my disability isn’t a huge part of me only a faction. This is why I’ve got it in my head that I need a job where I can leave my mark. I want it to be in my writing but we all need a day job too right?

I want to read and find myself lost in words again. I also want to have words spill out of me again. As much as I want to finish my “Pack’s” story maybe it’s time to pull out someone else’s voice until I can hear there’s again. This isn’t writing block for me anymore, it’s deafening silence and it unsettles me.

I think my mind, creative soul, and heart needs something new to grow. I want to figure out a way to get to Vancouver, Canada. I am gonna bring a notebook for my Birthday Trip in March. I am going to see what the world whispers to me.

I don’t want to feel lost again, I am determined to start finding my path again. Adventure coaxing words and ideas out of me again. I feel everyday I feel closer to finding myself again and becoming the person I need to be.

Is anyone trying to find themselves again this year, or trying to find a way to plan your newest route? Anyone moved to a new country? Anyone feel like you need to break free of the mold people place on you? Let me know in the comments down below as much as I am here to talk, I am also here to listen. Happy Reading!

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