Life Update: Chaos and the Coming Days

Hey Bookworms! I needed to write something and I didn’t know what to write in this fog of sadness and pain. This isn’t just going to be about books, but about my LDR, the weather, a few points about my cerebral palsy, COVID-19, but yes I will talk about books. Let’s get started!

Chaos and the Coming Days

LDR

So first off let me start off by saying today is hard. It was supposed to be my first day with my boyfriend. I work hospitality, so when at work I receive all the updates about what we’re canceling, borders that are closing, and travel bans. When we got the notification that cancellations were happening at least until the 14th of April (it is my weekend, so I haven’t seen any newer updates since Sunday).

I knew on Saturday, I would have to change my ticket. It hurt like hell to do because at this point I haven’t seen him in 4 months.  I was supposed to leave in 2 days at that point to spend, 6 nights, and 5 days together. The most time we have spent together in a while. Not to mention this is the first time in 2 years, we have spent a birthday a part, this is what hurts the worst.

While I have a new flight booked for May with a new flexible change policy, just in case. (I am so grateful for Westjet being so helpful and understanding). I am praying this all calms down by then. My family and friends are all saying at least you are both healthy and safe, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t crack our hearts open.

I am trying to remain patient and hopeful as this is what all LDR’s are built off of. I am sending my positive thoughts out to others separated by these closures. I am trying to find comfort and not jealousy of the couples that are currently together even when it’s hard, as this is what we have to look forward to.

The Weather, Cerebral Palsy, and COVID-19

This is probably one of the few times you’ll hear me talking about my CP because although it a part of me, I try to not let it define me. I also don’t want people to assume my experience with CP is the same as another person with  CP.  Like most disabilities and disorders it is on a spectrum and has different types (which is what I hope anybody who writes about this disability includes this notes because it can set false expectations and be harmful to those who are uneducated).

While COVID-19 is affecting a lot of people with different immune deficiencies, disabilities, disorders, the young, and people over 50.  Some people with Cerebral Palsy do have weakened immune systems, thankfully, I have not been one of those people. I have only been sick at least once a year in my life if that (not including allergies), and some of those were self inflicted by being a stubborn child by and not eating when I was supposed to, often times for a full day, or weather changing rapidly.

With this extended winter we’ve been facing (the groundhog lied…), my body has been paying the price. I have been aching and swelling for weeks as the weather is on the roller coaster it is and possibly having another disability that may tie into this pain (which I can’t get checked until Fall again). I am more afraid of how my body pain is affecting me more this year than it has before than I am of a virus, because I know my body can fight it. I know I am practicing the right things, and I am trying to remain calm, because stress and anxiety can weaken the immune system.

Work

I don’t tend to talk much about work on here. Thankfully I still have work, and I am trying to stay calm and positive again. Putting money in savings and trying to be diligent. I am sending all good thoughts for those of you who can’t go to work and I am hoping my work stays consistent.

Days I am Home

On my days I have off which is a 3 day weekend this weekend because I didn’t feel it was fair to go into work on my birthday this year due to everything that went on last week. I am spending my 28th on March 18th at home, with my family, cake, books, and a movie binge. I know a lot of us are worried with the actual libraries shut down, but there is still Overdrive and Libby if you have WiFi or data access to download when you don’t have access to either.

We have each other, this blogging community, our words to reach each other even when these borders are shut down.

Want to work out, look up exercises to do at home, when I am not in pain I try to move as much as possible.

Board games, so you can keep your mind going, video games, movies and books that will make you think.

Sing, get lost in music, dance, write a poem, if your mind starts to wander in the wrong way redirect it or at least distract it.

Create don’t let your mind focus on the panic as that’s when we become our worst selves. Most importantly be kind, try not to panic buy, to help others who need the resources. This is something I stick buy as I can’t always get out due to my current state.

We are all stronger that the remenants that 2019 is holding over us. I refuse to blame 2020 for this as this started last year hence the name. 2020 is trying to teach us to be strong, calm, patient, and kind. Don’t let 2019’s left overs turn is into scared sheep.

I am going to try and practice all these suggestions, and I hope you all do too. I hope this rant stayed somewhat coherent. Happy Reading Bookworms, stay calm healthy, and safe!

 

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Writing Wednesday: Come Home

Hey Bookworms and fellow writers! Today I decided to post one of the most vulnerable things I could for you which is my own writing and not talking about other people’s. I haven’t done this in forever, but I think … Continue reading

Let’s Chat: Life Update and Currently Reading

Hey bookworms! I know I say this every time, but I am trying to get better at being a constant or at least regular at this.

 

I hope your morning/day/ evening is going well depending where ever you are. It is currently Monday morning here AKA my Sunday. I was going to wait till later to write with my boyfriend to wake up to have a writing date (just sitting with each other on Skype or Facebook messenger for an hour and writing whatever we want), but I woke up to hear about the Shooting in Las Vegas (where I live but a 20ish mins away) on the Strip it left me a little shaken, so positive thoughts to everyone in my city. I don’t want this blog to end up too sad, but if you guys can all send positive thoughts to the ones affected that’d be great.

Anywho life has been on a good patch lately, me and my boyfriend have found our way back to each other, I’ve been to Vancouver twice this year, recently for his Birthday in September and I swear it’s not  just him but every time I hit the tarmac and am officially in Canada it makes me feel at home. I love Vancouver and how I look at nearly everything and to me it feels like a story waiting to be written. Especially since it’s the kind of place where if you wanted to get away for a day or two, hop on the ferry and your there in 2 hours. Honestly it made me want to pick up historical fiction being in Victoria getting lost in the awe when we went to Craigdurroch Castle. The history and seeing the way that this building change to fit the every need that was needed from it. How can you not want to explore and adventure out in the world? I want to live in Vancouver so bad I can practically taste it. So that’s my goal in the next 2 years of my life, but then part of me starts to wonder if 25 is starting to late in life to do this? I dunno I hope not, so what I’m asking you all in the way of advice. Have any of you moved to Canada from the states or even from a different country than where you’re originally from? How did you go about doing it? I know it’s possibly gonna be a lot of paperwork and a lot of work it’s not something I’m scared of.

Also another question that I am concerned about is the use of Transit because being in my chair for 3 days was not easy on my back and hips. Here I use Paratransit a system for those with disabilities where the bus picks you up and drops you off where you need to be. It is a ride share system, so rides can tend to get on the lengthy at times, but it is my independence even if it can have it’s drawbacks, so for my Canadian readers (which hopefully I have) do you guys have a similar system that I can look into?

An update on my writing and reading life as well. I need to stop making excuses and sit down and just do it. Writing and reading used to be my escape from stress, life, it was protection from myself or whatever was currently getting at me. I’ve decided to start carrying a notebook with me and setting down an hour to write a week. No matter what it is blogging, poetry, quotes, or even my current WIP. It makes me sad I haven’t touched it in almost a year. I want my writing to leave a mark, let others know they don’t have to face it alone, or when they have to there is always a safer place to be where you can conquer other dangers along side others. Writing is coping it is letting my dark know that I am stronger than it is, or if it feels stronger I can give it an outlet. I hope I can stick to this new commitment. I feel it will help push me forward again see more of what I can do with the world.

Now that the life stuff is out of the way if you are still with me. Here is what has been keeping my literary world alive lately:

Currently Reading

1.  American Gods by Neil Gaiman

American Gods

I am really loving this book and hoping I can finish it before it’s due back on Overdrive. Neil Gaiman is one of my favorite authors for a reason his way of writing and his use of details, it just sucks you in.

2.  A Dog’s Journey by W.B. Cameron

A Dog's Journey

I bought this for the ferry ride for the trip to Victoria and it was perfect to keep our attention for 2 hours. It had me giggling and smiling at antics and it is just a light book that is something you can go to for ease.

3. Moon Chosen by PC Cast

Moon Chosen

Yes I am still reading this chunky thing and lets hope I can get it done before the end of the year. It is good but I’ve been quite the slow reader lately and although it makes me sad a bit, but I am try not to be hard on myself about it.

Well bookworms that’s it for now and I have finished this post now with way too many distractions as it is almost 2:30 PM. I am gonna go get dressed and go grocery shopping and face the fact that tomorrow is another work day. I hope it is an easy, quick, and as stress free for all of us as possible. I will try and get my summer wrapup done soon, so you can see what I’ve been doing besides work and sleep. I am still kinda alive.

If you want to see what few pictures I was able to get in Canada follow my Instagram and see some of my adventure. I promise when I get my new phone hopefully next weekend, I’ll be a better picture and video taker on my next adventure. Let me know if you enjoyed this post, have any advice, and of course what you’re currently reading in the comments! I miss you all like crazy. Let me know if you’re still here. Have a good week and as always, Happy Reading!

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