Hey Bookworms, sorry if you are hearing too much from me this week, but I’ve had a lot of topics I have been wanting to talk about lately. So I hope this brain dump/ vent isn’t too much of a hassle to read.
As you all know we have been in a pandemic, so I have been trying to find other ways to be social especially when it comes to books, but recently. I’ve had a bit of a negative experience. Let me start off by saying this is a Facebook group for women, that I decided to join, as female friendship has been something I have missed the most as much as I adore my boyfriend there are things I miss having a girl to talk to, and he doesn’t read much.
Now, before this, I’ve been enjoying the group commenting on group on what others are reading offering opinions, and sharing what I am currently reading. I don’t spend a lot of time on the group admittedly, except for what pops up on my feed. Now a new member had proudly posted how many books she read last month and was curious to know how many others in the group have read? This reader had posted she had read somewhere in the 30’s, so I happily go to post I read 19 (at that point so far), and boy did I get caught up in the comments.
Some were mild saying they didn’t like seeing the numbers as it made them feel pressured or anxious, both valid feelings, but in my opinion, not exactly nice to guilt a new member with making others feel bad. The worst comment though on this poor reader was “she must not have a job or know how to adult correctly, or only be reading audio books” that comment was too far. I was completely aghast. I was so angry, I was shaking. Now, the original poster did respond that she is currently, working, and explained how she managed her reading.
What made me upset about this though is that the job comment was made in this climate of the world. We are in a global pandemic, in which many have been laid off, some have been forced to stop working due to medical implications or living with ones at risk and needing to quarantine to keep loved ones safe, their jobs that they felt would always be needed may have ended there is a never ending list. It is disgusting to read this ablest, bullsh*t.
Now, with my disability, I am contributing as best as I can to the working world. Although I know many can’t work in the typical way, or do a “9-5”, and I can face facts that this may not be something I can always do in society’s norms. It broke my heart that someone who did not know this person’s situation or life to make assumption.
The next part of the comment that bothered me is the “adulting” assumption. The fact that the typical assumption, is having children, living on your own, etc. This is also something many people cannot do or choose not to do. Some with disabilities, cannot safely live on their own, people in general may choose not to have kids or can’t have them. There is no way to determine the normal way to adult. For me it is living with my parents, paying them rent, saving up a future with my LDR partner, taking care of 2 adorable fur babies, trying to get my creativity as well as my self back, and figuring out what I want to do for a day job while maintaining my own mental and when I can physical health. Now don’t get wrong, I do get jealous at times of social medias images of adulting or seeing where others are in their journey, but my journey is only for me to decide.
Last but not least, “she must be only reading audio books”. If you have been following me for the last 2 years at minimum, you will know that audio books are my primary form of reading lately. Reading Audio Books IS READING. YOU are still taking in the story, analyzing, getting lost in words and worlds. E-books are books, even if you can’t get the new book smell. It helps making carrying all the books that your back or shoulders may not easily be able to accommodate. Paper and hard backs are reading which is the most classic way where you can get lost in the sound of pages turning, the smell of ink, and an excuse to wander book store isles.
Why in this day and age are we being judged by how we are choosing to read. We should be praising and encouraging each other for reading no matter how we choose to do it or how we find the time to read. It can be our greatest way of coping, facing, and escaping the hardships of the real world. Reading can save a child from hardships of getting away from abuse, can give teens an escape from the bullying they may face for 6-8 hours a day, it can give EVERYONE company in the current isolation in the world as we try to keep each other safe.
I don’t know if this post even makes sense, but I needed to put words to the screen. I am hoping this experience was a once off. As bookworms can tend to be those who may have been picked on at some point in their lives, bullying in a book group was something I least expected. Does anyone have a group they can recommend instead, or how to deal with people like this? Has anyone had or seen similar experiences? Please let me know in the comments below, this is something I dearly NEED to have a conversation about. Anywho, as always Happy Reading Bookworms, please stay safe both mentally and physically.
CK's Reading Corner 